Hear me.

Jump to Comments

I know God hears me. At least in my mind I believe He does. There have been few times in my life where I have talked to Him and felt like He heard me and let me know it quickly. Today was one of those days. I am going to tell you all about it, but first, a little history.

The past month has been quite insane for me. I got mono and left school for almost two weeks. Being home sick was absolutely no fun, but spending some time with the boyfriend that I hadn’t seen in six weeks was an unexpected plus to the situation. Derek, the boyfriend, and I spent our first Valentines Day together. I had so much fun just being around him…finally! It would take me hours to write the calculated story we have accumulated since we first met. I like that about us. Anyway, it was during that weekend home that I realized my feelings for him were far deeper than I had expected them to be so quickly. We discussed our relationship and intentions to move forward (that is all I am going to say about that…for now). When I was well enough to return to school I came back to a mountain of make-up work. Surprisingly, it didn’t take very long to get done. Moving on…Ha! The highlight of my semester so far…get ready. Derek came out to visit me, and the whirlwind began. We said, “I love you” and made some future plans. I have been spinning ever since he left. I am really in love with him! There is so much more to the story, but it isn’t the absolute focus of this blog, so…for all interested…I will be writing a thorough account in the very near future. Back to today…

Today was one of those days where, at the end of it you think to yourself, “that was THE longest day EVER!” Ugh..I woke up at nine, went to a meeting, turned in a project…seems pretty ok. Then, the pressure came. Pressure on one side to know minute details about the future, pressure on another side to hold off on the planning, and finally, pressure to question my ability to make an “objective” decision regarding my future. Have you ever seen a cartoon character put their head in a vice (turn the handle and it squeezes their brain)? Anyone? Well, if you have, it felt a lot like that. I have a pretty good track record in the decision-making area, and I am very level-headed. I guess I just need to stop letting other people try to tell me what to do. I am fully capable. My tendency to be a people pleaser generally results in this type of day. I need to quit caring so much what people think. So, to cope with all this madness I decided to talk to the Lord.

I spent a lot of time with Him today. I prayed a lot and sang at the top of my lungs so He could really hear me. Haha. I have no doubt that He did. He reminded me of the condition of my heart now versus the broken mess it was when I left home three years ago. Just reading through my old blogs gives some insight into all the heartache I have felt. I have asked God for years to make me whole. I really believe He has pieced me back together better than I was before I broke. Again, He reminded me of all He has done in my life. He told me that He heard every plea and cry of my heart. Every request  He accounted for. Every tear He collected. The verses of encouragement He has given over the past few years came alive today. It is exciting to grow in Him. Humbling too. There is amazing peace in knowing that He cares, even about the little things in life, and there is comfort when He answers prayers. Today, He heard me cry out. He encouraged me yet again and reminded me that I am making good choices. I am in the right place at the right time. He is still here, walking with me every step. I love that I can just sit with Him in my car on a regular basis. So good.

I am finding out that life is speeding by at an incredible rate. The crazy thing is, I feel very steady and unmoved by it. I am taking this life one day at a time, not worrying about every detail. For once in my life I am not worrying. I am totally satisfied with the Lord, and with Derek, and with school. The thankfulness I feel towards God for creating me and equipping me to live my life well is overwhelming. It makes days like today worth the struggle.

With that said, today is a new day. I get to start over and I am sure that no matter what…He will hear me.

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized